Just Do Me Like That

Gettin' Laid Like a Rock Star And Other Fictional(?) Song Parodies
by Sean Bresnan, gonegator.com

I don't know if anybody reads this crap, but I'm sure I'm going to get some phone calls and emails about this one if they do! Some of this could be fiction! My life's been kinda interesting lately. I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I've met a few people and I know I'm sure as hell not the worst looking one out there. One of my many problems is that I'm really picky when it comes to women. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly respectful and nice to every woman I meet, but I have to be truly attracted to them before going any further. But I'm a guy and I probably love taking it further more than most. I know and have known some very beautiful women. The kind of women that make other women say "Damn!" Hell, I was married to one for a little while, but I'm a Scorpio and she was an annoying bitch! I'm just kidding, I'm really a Virgo.

Well, I'm single and have been more concerned with my career than relationships. Oprah did a story on the "Swinger" lifestyle a couple months ago, I think. I don't watch Oprah, just remembered the commercials. Recently, a girl brought me to one of these clubs and Holy shit! I walked into a porn movie minus the really bad 70's wah-wah pedal guitar music. I actually don't remember what music was playing!

A couple of days ago, "Don't Do Me Like That" came on the radio as I was driving home thinking about what this girl had said to me. It was along the lines of "I just want to @#$%$^! you." Ok, that's EXACTLY what she said. I'm pretty sure every guy has wanted to say that AND/OR have it said to them, but most I know wouldn't come right out and say it. I started thinking about the song that was playing and "Just Do Me Like That" comes to mind.

The only Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers parody I know of is that LOUSY "Stop Draggin' My Car Around" by Wierd Al. In my research, most parodies are considered "fair use" as long as you're not making a killing on someone else's copyrighted work. So, I'm not thinking about dressing up like Tom and making a video... yet, but I may record this with a friend's band backing me up.

NOTE/DISCLAIMER: I know that Tom Petty would NEVER write words like this! I probably wouldn't respect his lyrics if he did. I don't want any of his fans to think I'm SUGGESTING he would. I just figured all of you would know the song. If you know my sense of humor and like it, you'll love this. Publishing deal offers? sean@gonegator.com

Just Do Me Like That
Words © 2005 Year of the Cock Music
(guess I have to stop writing year of the monkey on my checks!)

I was talkin' with this guy I know
He said one of God's laws has got a loophole
Girl walks up to him, says take her from behind
Then she just drops to her knees and blows his mind
Every straight guy has fantasized
Just want to sleep with them, not hear them whine
You ain't breakin' rules from above
When her husband hands you your glove!

Just do me like that. Just do me like that.
I just don't need you baby
Just do me like that. Just do me like that.
Just do me like that.
I know I don't need you baby
Just do me like that.

Listen honey, can't you see? It just wouldn't bother me
If we were at a swingers club and you want some other guy
Just a little warning so remind yourself
You just might see me with someone else
I just don't need you baby
Just do me like that.

Just do me like that. Just do me like that.
I just don't love you baby
Just do me like that. Just do me like that.
I know I don't love you honey
Just do me like that.

Cause somewhere deep down inside
Some other girl will be sayin'
Didn't know a man could last that long!
You said it last night when you wouldn't stop screamin'
I don't think I can take anymore!

Listen honey, can't you see? It just wouldn't bother me
If you were at a swingers club taking on four or five
Just a little warning so remind yourself
You know I won't be by myself
She opened up my eyes
And brags about my size

Just do me like that. Just do me like that.
I just don't love you baby
Just do me like that. Just do me like that.
I know I don't need you honey
Just do me like that.

Words © 2005 Year of the Cock Music